


Why didn't any of you come back for me?

by MasterChachki



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Angst, Gen, Mentions of the Reds and Blues, based on a headcanon by punishandenslavesuckers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-30
Updated: 2014-01-30
Packaged: 2018-01-10 14:11:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1160623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MasterChachki/pseuds/MasterChachki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alone. You always felt alone. Everyone always left you. You never really had a family. You never really had friends. But why did the fact that you were left by yourself always hurt the most?</p>
<p>Based on a headcanon by punishandenslavesuckers</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why didn't any of you come back for me?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [starkraving](https://archiveofourown.org/users/starkraving/gifts).



> Uhhhh, so like, I have a lot of Wash feelings and uhhhh seeing this post: http://punishandenslavesuckers.tumblr.com/post/74957618889/the-first-question-wash-asked-carolina-was actually made me ridiculously sad and I just want to write some Wash angst because also Wash is kind of my favorite so yeah. There is technically Yorkalina in this, but it's kind of not really there at all. Oh! Also I uhh, based a few things like Wash and Maine knowing each other before Freelancer on her fics. 'Cause they're really fucking awesome and they make me all kinds of sad but also kind of happy because oh, Maine. Okay. That's all. Here's the fic. (Good glob i am so sorry im a terrible writer ugh)

Alone. For as long as you could remember you were always alone. As a child, you don’t remember much about your parents other than they must have existed at least at some point before you ended up on the streets. 

As a teenager, you were surrounded by people, but was always too strange. Too weird. Always kept people at an arm’s length. 

As a young adult, there were people. Some that had forced you to allow them in. You had to let them in, in a sense, as it was necessary for survival. They almost became like a surrogate family. 

Connie, a best friend, almost something more at some points. She wasn’t the strongest, not even able to make it on the leaderboard. But she was strong willed. She was kind. She was someone you loved talking to about little things. You felt like she was the one person on the team you could always count on, since everyone had someone else to be particularly close to. 

And Wyoming, the crazy uncle who told some of the worst jokes ever. Of all time. Sometimes you blamed him for his own terrible sense of humor, but he still cared about you and he always helped you with your originally terrible aim. 

There was Maine: the scary but badass big brother. He was the toughest of them all, physically. But he had gone through a lot of shit before the Project. The two of you had actually met before on another planet before he got caught up with all of this. It was probably the main reason why you were often partners and roomed together. Everyone else was scared of him. 

Then South, the badass, sometimes bitchy aunt that took no shit from anyone and beat the snot out of anyone who tried to mess with her or her brother. Sometimes she would beat the snot out of people just for the hell of it, but she still had a caring side that kept an eye out for everyone. She always said she'd have your back if she thought of you as family. 

And North, the almost grandfather, somewhat awesome uncle. He was the kindest of all of them and became a sort of sage figure to them. You knew he was the person you could and should go to if you ever needed advice. He too always had your back and looked after you if you ever got hurt. He was your team's shield and more often than not you relied on him for moral support. 

And then York, the almost father figure you dreamed of those lonely childhood nights. You wanted to be just like him. He was clever, strong, liked by everyone, and knew when he needed to take the situation seriously and when not to. His eye might have gotten fucked up, but you knew he was strong enough to always see everything he needed to. Those missions where you were partners were some of your favorites, even though he would often tease you about not being the strongest. 

And finally, Carolina, the strict mother figure that you always wanted to make proud. She was by far the strongest in the team. A natural leader. She could come up with a plan in the middle of battle and execute it perfectly. She allowed for nothing less than perfection with herself, and sometimes her own team, but she would always make sure no one got left behind if she could help it. 

They had become a sort of family after all the shit they faced. All the things they lost. They kept each other sane. And you trained that much harder to not let them get dragged down by your incompetence. You knew you were one of the weakest. Not particularly smart, not ridiculously fast. You could maybe pick an old fashioned lock, but what with everything being holographic these days you were more often than not there for back-up. You didn’t have any skills they didn’t already have. 

You knew they saw you as a little brother. Someone they wanted to protect, someone that might have needed that protection at some time. So you trained harder for them. Worked harder for them. Ran as fast as you fucking could to keep up. 

Sometimes it paid off. Sometimes you did great on a mission and York would ruffle your hair the minute you took off your helmet. You’d get so annoyed because even though you had terrible helmet hair you would blame him for messing it up. Carolina would smile and nod, saying that everyone did great that day and North would slap your back saying it was because you worked so hard and Carolina would nod in agreement occasionally. South would stand a little ways away, smirk and nod too before heading to the showers saying he was pretty good for a rookie. Maine would even join in on these times and growl his compliments while Wyoming would say 'Right right, good show out there, mate!' 

Those were always the best days. You liked having dreams about them. But then more often than not, you wouldn’t do as well. No matter how hard you ran, you would always see just their backs and felt like there was a ridiculously huge canyon separating you and them. 

And slowly but surely, the little family you thought you’d finally found and became a part of started to break apart. 

First Connie...C.T. She left you all because she found the truth first. She never talked to you about it, but you wish she had. After she left, you hoped she would come back and explain why. You hoped maybe there was a good reason, and you later found out that there was...but she was gone forever. 

Maine and Wyoming were next. And while they didn’t necessarily leave the Project, they did become more secretive. Maine didn’t talk or communicate with him as much. They used to be able to talk often because of their together but it felt like he was barely even there anymore. Wyoming was still a crazy joker, but you didn’t feel right going to talk to him anymore. 

North and South left together after the crash. You’d started to feel like you couldn’t even approach South anymore. She was too jealous and angry. North took her with him, and maybe they would have tried to go back. Maybe if they took you with them, they’d both still be okay. But they never came back too and the next time you saw them, North was dead and South eventually shot you in the back she had once promised to cover. 

York left while you were in a coma. Apparently he had spoken to Texas who too found out about the truth, but came back to try and get Carolina out of there. You knew that he would do just that, but she didn’t go with him, and he never looked back. 

Carolina was thrown off that cliff by Maine and presumed dead. You always held out hope that that was a lie, because she was the strongest in every way. You hoped for her to come back and fix things. To drag you out of the hell you continued to live as you were reassigned to destroy all evidence of the people you once saw as family. 

Maine eventually came back in a way. But he knew it wasn’t Maine, the creature that was using Maine’s body knew you knew he wasn’t Maine. But since you never acted on it, you worked together. You two worked pretty well together, though the relationship was a little strained, you were able to convince yourself that somehow it was alright and that sometimes it really was Maine in there. But then, he brought you back to where you were left behind, and you were alone again. 

You say this, even though these new guys, the Reds and Blues, even though they accepted you into their group like it was natural, you didn’t dare get close to them. You didn’t dare let it happen again. And some nights you were tougher on them than you really ever needed to be. The Blues seemed to appreciate it, as they got the flag much more often and things ran more smoothly, but you tried keeping them at an arm’s length. 

And then you heard rumors that the Director was stirring something up again. That the Counselor was working with him on this. And you didn’t know what to do other than find what you could and prepare to leave these guys behind. They didn’t need you, they were sim troopers and could get along fine on their own. You didn’t want to accept that in the back of your head, you knew you’d miss them when you had to leave. 

But then, just as you had packed all of your things together into a neat pile, ready to leave the next morning without saying goodbye, she came back. She had tracked you down and stood in front of you as if nothing ever happened. As if no one had left, as if the only thing that mattered was her revenge, as if so many years hadn’t passed and you had believed she was dead. 

Half of you thought you should have been happy. So fucking happy. Someone was still around, someone you cared about and still cared about. Maybe you two could work together again and rebuild something. A home, maybe talk about what you had lost, maybe be able to move forward again. But you couldn’t summon that feeling. All you could think about was all the nights where you dreamed of happier days. Woke up to another jail cell or another bunker. Nothing familiar, as they moved you to someplace new while you slept. You’d shake your head and remind yourself that they were all gone and that you were all that was left. And even then you were only a fragment of your former self. 

So instead of rushing forward and embracing her or punching her in the arm with all the anger he’d felt over the years or just telling her to leave and ask someone else, the only thing you could do was take off your helmet and look her straight in the eyes. 

“Why didn’t any of you come back for me?”


End file.
